I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Randomize
