quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Randomize
