.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
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