If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
