my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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