Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
