i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
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