fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize