Texts From Last Night

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  (540): View more from Virginia

  is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?

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  (540): is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO? http://tfl.nu/qgse
  Replies (3) Good night (699) Bad night (399) Order T-Shirt
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  I want to walk on stilts...naked

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  (970): I want to walk on stilts...naked http://tfl.nu/tpp3
  Replies (14) Good night (1735) Bad night (396) Order T-Shirt
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  i already hear my dad disowning me

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  (814): i already hear my dad disowning me http://tfl.nu/x26e
  Replies (2) Good night (2136) Bad night (691) Order T-Shirt
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  (716): View more from New York

  I'm eating all of the evidence.

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  (716): I'm eating all of the evidence. http://tfl.nu/m4yn
  Replies (12) Good night (2087) Bad night (473) Order T-Shirt
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  (896): View more from

  i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.

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  (896): i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself. http://tfl.nu/abgv
  Replies (9) Good night (3332) Bad night (773) Order T-Shirt
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  (905): View more from Toronto

  I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.

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  (905): I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing. http://tfl.nu/u29p
  Replies (16) Good night (1183) Bad night (3453) Order T-Shirt
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  either way he was missing a nipple.

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  (203): either way he was missing a nipple. http://tfl.nu/17oh
  Replies (18) Good night (730) Bad night (5850) Order T-Shirt
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.

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  (757): It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean. http://tfl.nu/z8cg
  Replies (22) Good night (601) Bad night (4492) Order T-Shirt
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?

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  (416): We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard? http://tfl.nu/skft
  Replies (12) Good night (5705) Bad night (732)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.

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  (412): he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night. http://tfl.nu/6lcj
  Replies (39) Good night (1216) Bad night (7517) Order T-Shirt
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  (901): View more from Tennessee

  i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.

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  (901): i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation. http://tfl.nu/cktw
  Replies (5) Good night (1249) Bad night (2398) Order T-Shirt
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  (308): View more from Nebraska

  Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?

  (1-308): View more from Nebraska

  i hate being the asshole.

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  (308): Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass? (1-308): i hate being the asshole. http://tfl.nu/40d3
  Replies (5) Good night (990) Bad night (2462) Order T-Shirt
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  (587): View more from Alberta

  I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?

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  (587): I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it? http://tfl.nu/0nlc
  Replies (5) Good night (488) Bad night (1037) Order T-Shirt
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  You burned the hair off your arms. Again.

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  It grows back stronger each time.

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  (203): You burned the hair off your arms. Again. (860): It grows back stronger each time. http://tfl.nu/ybhf
  Replies (1) Good night (669) Bad night (327)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!

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  (207): But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on! http://tfl.nu/iftt
  Replies (10) Good night (179) Bad night (517) Order T-Shirt

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