We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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