'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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