I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
