If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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