I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
