Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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