I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
