and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
