my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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