the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
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