Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Randomize
