turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
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