Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
