I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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