I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
