but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Randomize
