Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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