Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Randomize
