This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
