Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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