She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
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