i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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