my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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