corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
