Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
