YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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