put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Randomize
