walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
