I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
