This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
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