Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
