so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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