I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
