Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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