Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
