Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
