remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
