oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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