Barsexuality is the new black.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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