I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.