Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.

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(215): So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her. http://tfl.nu/lt69

Replies (23) Good night (1067) Bad night (4171)
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(912): View more from Georgia

you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?

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(912): you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right? http://tfl.nu/mqjb

Replies (19) Good night (2294) Bad night (6349)
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(208): View more from Idaho

Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.

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(208): Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately. http://tfl.nu/dsn6

Replies (2) Good night (1771) Bad night (1265)
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(217): View more from Illinois

It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.

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(217): It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way. http://tfl.nu/sqy6

Replies (5) Good night (2351) Bad night (1656)
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(473): View more from Grenada-Carib

Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.

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(473): Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year. http://tfl.nu/y5js

Replies (11) Good night (2518) Bad night (1098)
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(208): View more from Idaho

I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."

(1-208): View more from Idaho

Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.

(208): View more from Idaho

......... Poor kitty

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(208): I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl." (1-208): Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating. (208): ......... Poor kitty http://tfl.nu/dw0s

Replies (9) Good night (1249) Bad night (2047)
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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him

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(610): Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him http://tfl.nu/y954

Replies (2) Good night (1163) Bad night (675)
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(510): View more from California

A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"

(1-510): View more from California

Berkeley was the right choice

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(510): A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by" (1-510): Berkeley was the right choice http://tfl.nu/la9d

Replies (6) Good night (1636) Bad night (548)
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(785): View more from Kansas

Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.

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(785): Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles. http://tfl.nu/6y3a

Replies (1) Good night (570) Bad night (1014)
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(307): View more from Wyoming

Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.

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(307): Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation. http://tfl.nu/c3ab

Replies (5) Good night (1668) Bad night (479)
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(720): View more from Colorado

hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.

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(720): hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now. http://tfl.nu/pc1n

Replies (8) Good night (1628) Bad night (515)
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(772): View more from Florida

To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.

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(772): To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like. http://tfl.nu/xu7z

Replies (10) Good night (458) Bad night (731)
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(425): View more from Washington

Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me

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(425): Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me http://tfl.nu/wcm8

Replies (2) Good night (678) Bad night (330)
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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.

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(306): I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS. http://tfl.nu/r076

Replies (3) Good night (682) Bad night (353)
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(651): View more from Minnesota

Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.

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(651): Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer. http://tfl.nu/3bgh

Replies (1) Good night (459) Bad night (321)

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