You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
