ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.