Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Randomize
