Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
