just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
