I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
