we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Just pee around me
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
