My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
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