My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There r osticjed everywhere
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Randomize