Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Ladies don't puke and tell
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
