I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Help me help you realize you are a moron
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
