I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
